So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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