I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
i out mim tonsoeep
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