I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
