The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
