Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
