So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize