I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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