What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
