can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize