The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
