I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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