Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
too bad you live with your parents still
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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