There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
