it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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