Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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