so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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