i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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