Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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