Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
