how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
