it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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