Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
