that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
