My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
