You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Walk of Shame today included voting.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize