dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
