1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
