ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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