But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
