you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
