Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
