wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
