How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
