Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
