she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
