Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
