it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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