How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
