you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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