Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize