So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
