I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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