WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
