Your dad touched me again.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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