Duck Duck Cougar?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
