I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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