My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
