Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
