u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
