Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
