just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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