Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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