I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
