Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
