it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
