you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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