she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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