You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
