Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
