Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
