I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
